Sunday, September 26, 2010

Eating my words, thoughts and everything else in sight.

So.....this weekend I took a little road trip to Atlanta to attend my niece, Olivia's 1st birthday party.  It was so nice, she is such a cutie.  I had such a good time seeing everyone, Im glad I went even if it was just for one day.  I sometimes think to myself, how funny it is that I enjoy my family so much nowadays.  I know that sounds bad.  It seems with each visit, they keep getting to be better and better people, ha ha.  Age does a funny number on us I think.  I am officially THAT girl that is having to eat her words that she spewed out in adolescent and teenage years.  Back then I couldnt WAIT to get away from those people, they were all strange and didnt know what they were talking about...... (although now I call them for advice on EVERYTHING.  When did they get so smart?)

I rode down to Atlanta with my younger sister, Elizabeth.  The conversations were always juicy or funny and I think I laughed half the trip.  Which again, started those voices in my head that replayed my parents' words of the past, "Be nice to your sister, because one day she will be one of your best friends."  I also remember thinking "yeah, right, there is no way I could ever like that brat."  (Eating my words and thoughts moment #1)
Who IS this Elizabeth girl and when did she get so cool?  :)

Another moment that zooms me back to the past is sitting with the family, whether it be at Nana's earlier this weekend eating spaghetti.  I felt like I could sit there forever, talking and comforting.  I think back and remember hurrying through dinners so I could dash out of the house and do other things, with other people, who ended up not meaning anything to me.  (Eating my words and thoughts moment #2)

Bob and the boys drove to my parents' house in Nashville to pick me up and bring me home from the little roadtrip.  The whole way back consisted of arguing and bickering.  Tears were shed over whose head was leaning more on the arm rest, some one was humming too loud and how nothing is ever fair in their life.  Each declared that we let the other one do so much more....I had to keep reminding myself that I could lose my life if I acted upon the urge I had to fling open my passenger door and leap from  the vehicle to escape the job of parenting at that moment.  Ugh the frustration!!!!  I remember BEING that child in the back seat, fighting with my brother and sister.  Why would I ever act that way?  My poor parents!!!  I only wish I had my mothers magical skills of being able to drive and give corporal punishment at the same time.  :)  (You know it, yup, eating my words and my thoughts moment #3....what a cool Mom she was.  Almost with super powers!)

Having little conversations with my father about days past always bring a smile to my face.  He looks back and thinks about how hard times were, growing up with limited funds and supporting a wife and three children, and even apologized at one point for having us kids huddling around a space heater during the winter when we were little.  We survived, and arent scarred and now look back and smile, realizing that those were the days that are sweet to us.  I bet all three of us children would go back, not complain and do it all over again if we could....... (Moment # 4) 

Okay, now onto something else.  I physically feel like an animal, a large animal of sorts.  I have stuffed my face the entire weekend.  Besides Nana's meal and Amber's dinner she prepared for everyone for Olivia's birthday party, the rest of things entering my mouth were from fastfood establishments, or gas station freezers.  No wonder I feel bleh.  I need to detox my body and do it fast.  Hopefully this week will consist of raw vegetables and plenty of H20 for me.  Wish me luck people, evidently food really is my drug.  :(  After all the eating of this food and eating my words this weekend, IM STUFFED!!!

Hey, I think this blog thing could be fun,  I could actually keep going and going, but better go to bed instead.  Another Monday greets us tomorrow....Ill be back soon, I think.

Love, Angela :)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

My first blog.....(which ends up only being about blogging)

I have decided to go ahead and try blogging since I enjoy reading others so much.  I'm not sure if I will be "good" at it, but consider it a place where I might be able to empty out things in my head, which always seems to make me feel better.  I will consider it a place where I wont care to be judged and will not worry about censoring my feelings.  Ahhh, what an invigorating feeling of freedom!  

I just realized that this almost sounded like an underlying warning.  Guess I need one since there is no telling what will come out of this mind......